Another Naked Post

A 17-year-old student was arrested Monday after streaking through his high school wearing only a gorilla mask and outrunning the school principal.

Union Springs High School Principal Kimberle Ward -- who said she runs three to five miles a day -- couldn't catch the fleeing student, but she was able to help police identify the teen after watching a hallway surveillance camera video and interviewing students. (If all the principal can see is his wang, how did she identify him... makes you think.)

"There's no way anyone in the district would consider this a prank," said District Superintendent Linda Rice. "We're here to teach children, and we do have high standards."

The student, whose name was withheld by police and school officials, was charged with exposure, a violation punishable by up to 15 days in jail and a $250 fine. He also faces up to five days' suspension and possibly more severe punishment if the case goes to a hearing before the superintendent.

The student said he had been dared by friends to streak through the school, according to police.

Keep Out Of Reach Of Children

A 4-year-old boy is recovering in a Buffalo children's hospital Monday after accidentally ingesting a poisonous, powdered mix of heroin and cocaine. Jamestown police officers said that the boy thought the drugs were candy.

Investigators said Raymond Medina, 25, was walking to a store with his girlfriend's son when the boy took what he believed to be candy from Medina's pants pocket and consumed it.

"I don't think that the defendant here, Mr. Medina, meant for the child to ingest the drugs, but he was extremely stupid," Jamestown police Lt. Joseph Conti said.

Medina lived with the boy's mother and several other children, the youngest three belonging to the couple. Officers found an additional $14,000 worth of drugs in a bathroom drawer that authorities said was easily accessible to the children who lived in the house.

Medina is currently being held in the Jamestown City Jail pending arraignment.

The Pizza Fork!

I think this item is pretty much limited to ladies. What guy (read: straight man) do you know that cuts his pizza and takes reasonable bites? I don't know any, but the ladies love to.

Well, here is a new invention (can be purchased for $6) that has a pizza cutter built into the fork. Now you can easily cut your pizza into easy to manage sizes!

Who says there are no more good ideas out there?

New Improved Stewardess Script

We'll be on our way, as soon as the luggage goes through the compactor...

Did anyone lose a wallet?

Now that we have your attention, my ex-husband, and my new boyfriend would like to point out the safety features of our Boeing. This is a seat belt, to fasten it, slide the flat end into the buckle. It should be worn tight and low across your hips, like the captain's speedo.

If you are not enjoying our jokes, or our service, there are 6 ways off this aircraft, 2 forward, 2 overwing, and 2 rear exit doors. If you don't get the hint from the stampede, signs overhead, and lights on the floor, will lead you to an exit.

If the captain decides to turn this flight into a cruise, your cushion may be used as a flotation device. Hold on to the straps and kick, and paddle all the way to the nearest shore.... we'll be right behind you, with the beer, and liquor kits.

This is a non-whining, non-complaining, non-smoking flight. If you must have a cigarette, you can go to our smoking and movie section out on the wing, where the feature film will be, "Gone With The Wind". Federal law prohibits tampering with the smoke detectors, or video cameras in the lavatories.

All though we do not anticipate a change in cabin pressure, otherwise we wouldn't have come to work today; if needed, oxygen masks will drop down. To activate... stop screaming, remove your fingernails from your neighbors leg, pull down, and place the yellow mask over your nose and mouth. If traveling with any children, or anyone acting like one,( women, you know who I mean...) put on your mask first. If you have more than 1 child, you should decide which one has the most potential.

Thank You, enjoy the flight

Nice landing........ for a first try

We would like to recognize one of our staff, this is his first flight, and it's his birthday today. He is 91! Say "Happy Birthday" to our pilot.

If you would like to learn how you can fly free, its easy.......Marry one of us.

If you are making a connecting flight, we don't care, just get your belongings, and get out, so we can go home.

Thank you for flying with Southwest

A Letter From A Soldier

This letter originally appeared in my school newspaper on Sept 12th, 2005. All credit remains with the original author. I thought it was worth sharing. (Minor changes made in editing and grammar.)

I've noticed you guys need some Right-Wing input to help balance everything out. Here is an extensive essay on the right-wing.

Walking down the Airport terminal in Chicago, heading to my connection to Denver, with a cast on my right leg, and a crutch on the corresponding shoulder, I hear things like "baby killer!" and "murderer!" shouted at me. Why? Because I am wearing Army Dress Greens. I just wanted to head home in peace, see my friends and family, and have a couple of weeks off. But some people just don't understand what is going on entirely. I'm here to give everytone a fresh view of current (and past) affairs.

"Except for ending slavery, Nazism, Facism and Communism, War has NEVER solved anything!" -Protestwarrior.com. Yeah, I suppose that's true. War is useless. Unless of course you're putting things to rest that should have never come to be. It's ok that Hitler killed six-million Jews, and caused pain and suffering to countless others. We don't need silly little WAR to fix that! it's absolutely fine that Communism has killed over one-hundred-million people over the course of its life. Let's give it another chance!

Seriously, listen to yourselves for one second! The war in Iraq is bad? Maybe I'm misinformed, but last I checked Saddam Hussein killed three-hundred-thousand of his own peole, using the same, and more brutal techniques as Hitler himself, such as gassing (oh that reminds me of um... what whas it called? Ooh yeah, THE HOLOCAUST!) and torturing children in front of their own parents. I don't know about the rest of you, but I would not be able to stand seeing my children getting tortured. That would be pure torture.

So we shouldn't have gone to Iraw for what reason again? Oh yeah, everyone complains about the whole WMD thing. Well, we DID find countless other things against U.N. sanctions: a machine that takes uranium and plutonium and turns it into weapons grade material. NBC (Nuclear, Biological, Chemical) suits. This would be understandable if there were a hospital that offered chemotherapy; however these suits were found in a hospital, amongst a stockpile of weapons, and no radiation ward to be found.

Don't kid yourselves, Saddam had WMD, we just made the mistake of giving him fair warning of our invasion, so he deported them to other terrorist sympathetic countries. how many of you knew that the authorities were coming so you ditched your weed? I think it's kind of the same thing here, he knew he was guilty of posession, so he ditched his illegal weapons.

Eighteen-hundred soldiers have died in Iraq. Considering we've been there for nearly three years now, that is phenomenally low. Consider this: in the first day of the battle of Io Jima in WWII, we lost fourteen-thousand soldiers, sailors , marines and airmen. By the end of that battle alone, we lost twenty-five thousand men. Over the course of three years, less than two-thousand dead. That is exceptionally good. Having done the math, our casualty rate over three-years is .0017%, that of one day of battle of WWII.

Don't get me wrong here, a life is a life. It is a valued thing. Every time I hear word of one more of my friends dying over there it hurts me. It hurts me because it's my friend, and I can't be there fighting with them. I'll never forgive myself for taking time off to go to school, and letting then tough it out on their own, but this is something I have to do.

Tell me again, why we shouldn't be in Iraq. "We're killing innocent people!" Well, Saddam killed three-hundred thousand of his own people (and we're still counting graves!), I think that takes a bit more precedent. This is war. War has an ugly face. But this is war; innocent people die. it's unfortunate, but it happens. But in return we've build thirty-eight new schools, we've renovated thirty-one hundred schools, and two-hundred sixty-three more schools are under construction. there are seventy higher education centers (colleges, institutes, and research centers) all currently operating. the reformed Iraqi Government employs of 1.2 million people. There are fifteen hospitals under construction, sixty-three public clinics, ninety-three water facilities and sixty-nine electrical facilities. 4.3 million Iraqi children were enrolled into primary school. Phone use has gone up one-hundred fifty-eight percent. Baghdad Stock Exchange opened last year.

You know why you didn't know all of that? Because our biased media doens't want you to know. All they do is show the negative, never the positive. there are some facts, all of which are verifiable on the Department of Defense website.

The left just needs to shut-up. In all honesty, who of you have talked to an ACTUAL Iraqi? I'm talking in-person, face-to-face. Not someone you met on myspace.com or MSN Messenger or some chat-room. A REAL Iraqi. Until you all see Iraq for yourselves--until you've been there and seen first hand that the Iraqis DO want us there--shut up. You are way out of line saying the things you're saying. Look it up. Do the math. figure it out. If youdon't like the way things are run, leave. We don't want you here.

--SPC. Tom Leishman, U.S. Army

My Cat, The Crack Head

Some of you have asked if we have finally come up with a name for our cat. Technically she does not have a name (nothing official anyway). I generally revert to just calling her Crack Head though. When she gets that catnip in her she turns into a complete junky. I wonder if she's a pusher by night, junkie by day? Never know...

And in response to the post below, I think my Cat could actually run your car on her own. She's got enough speed--err, I mean catnip in her to run a diesel!

Gas Prices Too High? Have A Cat?

A German inventor has found an alternative fuel source in response to outrageous gas prices. Dead Cats. Yes, you read it right. Dead Cats.

He calls this process bio-diesel or organic-diesel and has been running his truck off this type of power for over 100,000 miles. He says he has been able to use other organic materials (it hasn't been completely powered by dead cats), but apparently they help. 20 dead cats can apparently fill an eleven gallon tank. Not bad... I guess.

Not to worry you cat lovers out there. This process is illegal in Germany & probably everywhere else so I doubt we're going to start euthanizing cats to fuel our cars. If we can just figure out the organic end of things (garbage, etc) we can start saving some money. He fills his tank at about .30c/gallon. How nice would that be!

(No, you didn't get punk'd. This story is straight from CNN)

Real-Time Spam Map

This is an addictive little toy. It's the Real-Time Spam Map by Mailinator. The map at the bottom of the page will update (in almost real-time) where spam is coming from & the topic. It can be a little bit addictive, but check it out.

Artist of the Day

What do you get when you've got looks, a voice to match & a lifetime of soul? Joss Stone. At 17 this girl doesn't have a lot of life experience but she sure sounds like it. She's got enough soul you'd think she was ancient.

I have been impressed with Joss stone from what I've listened too. The song of the day today is her "Right To Be Wrong" from the Mind, Body & Soul album. I hope you enjoy it. You can hear the rest of the album here.

"What God Believes" : An Elitist Exclusive

I found a website that is just full of blog fodder. I plan on tearing it apart over the next few days (between spurts of homework, of course). I would love to hear what everyone thinks about this stuff. This will be the top post until I'm finished with my tirade.

The "Homo Handshake" 101

First of all let me say that the only people I mean to offend with this post are the jackasses at the Landover Baptist Church. What a bunch of elitist bigots.

This is part of their "Exposing The Homosexual Agenda Series". I have not been able to find more information on this but I will keep looking. The best part is the line at the bottom of their Beliefs page...


Apparently the "homos" have a new super-power handshake that'll convert you to "gaydom". If you aren't ready for the "homo handshake" you could turn into a homo yourself.


"Please note - If you do not have the same beliefs as we do, you are going to burn in Hell forever."

I honestly wonder if this place is for real!

Christian Kids Corner: Elitist Exclusive

I don't even know where to start with this page. Check it out & you can also find out the answers to the following questions:

Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?

If the false images of Jesus with long hair are a stumbling block for you, then just tear them out of your Bible. For a more accurate example of what Jesus would look like if He were walking amongst us today... Learn More!

Will I see My Grandpa Naked After the Rapture?

Well, the answer is quite simple. In Heaven, there'll simply be no need for genitals. Our guess is that the Lord is pretty disgusted after having to watch... Learn More!

Learn How to Report Mommy and Daddy to the FBI!

Thanks to our anointed President, George W. Bush, and his tongue-talking Attorney General, John Ashcroft, it is now easier than ever for Christian children like you to turn your unsaved parents in to Federal authorities Learn More!

Learn About Jews and Why They Killed Your Savior!

Get a copy of the super-cool coloring book, "Levi, The Dancing Cockroach," and color along as you read a fun story that will teach you all about Jewish behavior. Learn More!

Learn About the Dangers of Pokemon

Did you know that the Japanese created Pokemons (pocket demons) to distract you from the Lord Jesus Christ? If you are a Christian, and you are playing with Pokemons, you are playing with the Devil's fire! Learn More!

Fandango Movie Tickets!

Creepy Girl!

This morning in my ethics class my eyes started to wander and I looked around the room while the teacher rambled on. Anything else interesting going on in here? ...and then I saw something creepy.

The girl next to me was writing down ideas and planner her own funeral! Can you believe that? Ewww. I understand being prepared & making preperations, but do that crap when you're old and have one foot in the grave anyway! You'll probably know more what you're looking for since you're already almost there.

Planning your funeral is not something a young college girl should be doing. That's just plain creepy!

'Yard' Sale

On my way home from school today I saw something... odd. There was a yard sale sign posted on the property but no items displayed. This got me thinking... Is the Yard for sale?

That thought opened up a whole slew of thoughts. Short on cash? Sell your yard! Didn't get that big raise at work? Sell the yard!

It could open up a new market! Yard sales aren't just for junk anymore!

Fat Buyers Need Not Apply

A London home (in dark paint) which is just 5-feet 5-inches wide in places has gone on the market for $945,315 (525,000 pounds). It emerged Tuesday Aug. 30, 2005. The property measures 9ft 11ins at its widest point and is described by the property agent as "utterly amazing". The bathroom is so tiny that it only contains the bath and a bedroom has a built-in bed to save space.

Wow. I guess this is an incentive to stay thin. You really could get stuck in a house like this even being slightly overweight. I think I'd get a little clostrophobic in something like this.

The Missing Baron!

Obscure? Yes. Freakin' awesome? Absolutely! I have found record of the famed and now legendary Baron Von Norbert (see 'Cooped Up)!

According to scarcely known legend (read: I made this up) our beloved Baron Von Norbert established and founded the St. Norbert College in De Pere, Wisconsin in the year 1529. The college, which is space and exploration based, was a response to his childhood dream of going into the earths orbit...


The rest has fallen into fable and legend--the real truth having been lost centuries ago. The dream & the vision still lives on however in the mascot and representation of our famed Baron.